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     People in my house may start dying if I have to wipe crusted chunks of toothpaste off my sink, faucet, mirror, or counter top one more time! Of course that's not a rational statement, but since when does rationality have anything to do with being a mother? But seriously, I'm going to hire a sniper to sit behind the shower curtain and take out the responsible party and/or parties each time they try to do a spit-and-run. I just don't understand it.... toothpaste gets squeezed out of the tube, onto the toothbrush, and then the toothbrush gets put into the mouth. Only spit should be coming back out, not entire chunks of toothpaste.... especially when I know that I've watched the kids brush their teeth for at least the length of the ABCs and it's STILL coming out chunky. And why in God's name is it on my mirror?!?!? I feel like this actually takes effort and a well-thought out plan to achieve, particularly because my kids can't even REACH the mirror without being lifted up. I haven't seen a ladder or a set of stilts, so unless they're climbing onto each other's shoulders to smear the glittery, sea-green paste onto my lovely mirror, I'm completely baffled.
     This is a conversation that we've had repeatedly in our home. If you make a mess in the bathroom, you MUST clean it up. Toothpaste, pee, toilet paper, toilet flushing, used tissues, soap drippings, and all dirty clothes must be promptly taken care of BY THE PERSON WHO MADE THE MESS. So, because my daughter is choosing today to be obedient, I came home and went into the half-bath after a full day of "holding it in". Just as I'm about to sit down, I notice that there is liquid.... everywhere. As I did a bare-bottomed hover over the seat, I contemplated the source and consistency of this mystery fluid. The options were narrowed down to 1) water, and 2) urine. (Please be 1, please be 1...) Naturally, I did what any mother would do... I dipped a few fingers into the liquid, held it to my nose, and took a deep sniff. Relief. It's just water, I told myself. I began wiping up the water, which was all over the toilet seat, toilet lid, toilet tank, floor, rug, mirror, and counter top. I finished my business, washed my hands, and.... It was then that I noticed the hand towel and kids' wash cloth for cleaning faces were also wet. Then the thought occurred to me.... Is this sink water or toilet water???
     I exited the bathroom and questioned the first person I found.... my husband. He laughed as he explained to me that he had no idea where the water came from, but that Taylor was "cleaning" the bathroom for us earlier. My daughter beamed innocently and proudly as she told me that she washed the toilet and counter with the face rag and then dried the toilet and counter with the hand towel.... the towel that I just dried my hands on after I used the restroom.... the face rag the children had used to wash up with after their craft. Awesome. But don't worry... to get even I just cleaned up the toothpaste situation with Taylor's wash cloth. No, no I am definitely NOT rational... but it's just so hard to find a good sniper these days.

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